For 2008, it’s been a really bad year for Goodyear rubber on the Sprint Cup cars.

They blow, but hey, it could be worse if you’re a teen girl in the U.S. Why? You would have a pretty good shot at taking home the big prize after a rompin’ race, a sex infection.

Here I go again, trying to make something out of a twisted tall tail of mountain rocks and ring toss.

Yea, I know. It’s the hooch.

The USA Today, Dallas Morning News, LA Times and Carrollton Chronicle all had a headline this week saying that one out of four girls between the ages of 13 and 19 has a sexually transmitted infection. And you thought tomahawkin’ a Goodyear at a buck eighty and ballin’ it up on LVM’s turn four was a real drag.

Damn, imagine “being” this headline and droppin’ the mad news on your old man. Right then, Dad might decide to go back to the garage and rework last year’s sixteenth birthday birds and bees debate.

Can you see where I’m going with this now? No matter how much you plan, plot and ponder, sometimes even the best laid Freakin’ plans just flat out suck. You can think long, holly hard and hang it all out there only to come up with a big fat…thud.

This is the cause of the daily piñata-ing of Goodyear. The Einstein’s and McCoy’s in the rubber’s boardroom out ‘thunk’ themselves again causing every Freakin’ Cup driver this side of Derrick Cope to drop a deuce on the Goodyear khakis.

Ooops, I stand corrected. Sprint Cup school zone advocate Jamie McMurray has not said a word about Goodyear as he was last seen standing outside his car looking for his tires.

The NFL, MLB, NBA and the NHL don’t change the ball or puck for each game due to turf differentiation, ice consistency or banking in the outfield. They stick with the same bean bag and the players/teams adjust.

The Goodyear wiz-kings on the other hand treat their rubber like a seventh grader trying to please his peers. They are trying to accommodate many but it’s backfired like the phlegm from a sneeze in a helmet.

There is a saying in motorsports where you run what you brung. But our good friends at Goodyear have been bringing and bringing and bringing to the point where the drivers are getting inside these torpedoing tug boats not knowing what the hell was brung.

Listen, Goodyear boys and girls, take a lesson from your client NASCAR, and like they did with the Car of Tomorrow, shove one tire into the front and run this from beginning to end. From January tests to November’s finish.

The complaining, and most of it justified, has reached critical Freakin’ mass and Stewart, Earnhardt, Gordon want this to go away.

With all its stars getting’ crabby, NASCAR can make it go away and it just might go to those competitors Smoke was referring to in his diatribe in front of 6 million of your current or potential customers.

That's suicide baby, slow death in brand management.

But then it again, it could be worse. You could be one of those four girls who had no idea on what rubber to bring to the race.

That's what I Freakin' think.
At least for now.


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