So Kahne goes to Hendrick, Martin to leave Hendrick, Junior to stay with Hendrick and Gordon to spend a lifetime with Hendrick. Funny, you can’t spell Hendrick without Ricks.

Not much has rankled my Wanamaker over the last couple of weeks. Lefty’s win at Augusta shut up Tiger's talk. Kyle Busch is still Kyle and that’s cool. John Edwards is still a penis. Mark McGuire gets a standing O at home (Geez, I didn’t know the Barry Bonds Kool-Aid traveled that far east). And no front page Jesse James stories this week. Peace VG.

Dancing with the Cars. I can see it, Toyota’s Prius and Lexus 460 don’t make the cut but the sh*tbox Malibu does. I know, a dream.

Doin’ the dirty dirty again? Tiger’s tail ain't done wigglin’. Think Elin Nordegren’s boot scootin’ Tiger boogie is before or after U.S. Open? I said the over/under was four weeks after Augusta. Three more to go. But holy freak, looks like I lost the bet.

Quick, name me three U.S. drivers who’ve won the Indy 500 in the last ten years?  You’ve got to go back twelve.

Quicker, name one Supercross rider in the top five? Right. Even better, name me an AMA Superbik’er in the top ten? Two series where you need the biggest set of nads but we can’t even find’em. The series that is.

Freak

Fact

Casey Mears still does not have a ride, Rahal’s got a pump on a Schwinn banana seat and Buddy Rice is where?

What happens if you drink a 5-Hour Energy drink while crossing two datelines?

This is Larry King.

That's what I freakin' think. Email: kennysargent@speedfreaks.tv.