This is the Stattmann Baby!!  Time to Scatt a little bit.

This morning I was having breakfast at my favorite diner counter when a woman sat down next to me and eventually orders a mushroom spinach omelet.

When it comes, there’s quiet hue and cry when she reveals she’s allergic to mushrooms.

Fighting back tears of laughter, my mind slips into the world of motorsports.  It’s a common problem for which I’m in a 12-step program.

But her insanity reminds me of those idiots who move next door to a race track then complain about the noise.

Such a problem shut down Bakersfield’s Mesa Marin last year and creeps toward Phoenix International Raceway where future urban planners say another Phoenix is under construction and headed that way.

This dimwitted omelet lover also reminds me of those who demand that their racing be entertainment, then they get upset when the script doesn’t have their favorite guy winning in the final act.

There’s enough entertaining drama in any wheel to wheel nail biter.

Frankly, I lost interest in racing soap operas years ago. 

Ordered any good omelets lately?