You know me, I’m the first one to pile on former F1 driver Ralph [sic] Schumacher. Actually, he’s supposedly still going to be behind the wheel of his hoity-toity hoopty next year, but I say former because the punk mails it in each race before the stamp is dry.

Geez, come on, I am the first one to pile on F1 when their elitist wind-up toy hot rods get out of line.

But Ralph [sic], if this is true, is just stupid.  Stupid as in lacking or marked by lack of intellectual acuity.

According to a report coming from the Mirror UK web site, Ralphy has been accused of killing a deer wrangled up in a cage. Yep, that’s deer talk, wrangled.

This, just after I hear there are over one million deer hunting licenses in Texas alone. But, I have not heard about cage killin’ the Schumacher way, allegedly.

The story goes:

Ralf Schumacher has been accused of spending £35,000 to shoot deer in a cage.

Animal rights organization PETA claims that Schumacher joined a hunting party in Kozara, Serbia – where he gunned down three deer that had no chance of escaping.

And the group alleges that the younger brother of German seven-time F1 world champion Michael paid £35,000 to join in.

The claims were printed in Austria where the best-selling Ganze Woche magazine quoted the Grand Prix driver admitting he was there – but denying the deer had been caged. Schumacher, 32, who is looking for a new F1 team after quitting Toyota, said it was "a regular deer hunt" where the animals were not restricted.

The controversy is all the greater because Schumacher is a regular guest at animal welfare fundraising events in Salzburg, Austria, where he lives with wife Cora.

Now, at the risk of insulting anything and everything aligned with pitiful punk Ralph [sic], I will let you, yes even you deer hunters, judge this man’s character from the alleged.

If it is true, I did not think my opinion of a world ass athlete could sink any further. But it just might.

I am not a big gun control guy nor do I believe guns must be out of the hands of everyday good citizens. I do know when a person sinks to the bottom of the punch bowl. This guy is one lousy guest at a bad party.

My hope is that if Ralph [sic] is guilty of such a heinous and unforgivable act that every time he closes his eyes in the quiet confines of his putrid pits to run the day's track in his head, the great white bearded granddaddy of all Cervidae (the deer family) jumps in front of his little F1 rocket and punts the punk back into his own little cage.

Only then will Rudolph and his big buck boys have their way with this whack-job.

That's what I Freakin' think.

You?

Shoot me an email @ kennys@speedfreaks.tv or give me a holler at the office 818-995-9159.