For the next two seasons, all of motorsports better lather up with anti-Jamie McMurray balm. Anything to ward off the bad news coming around turn four.

Jamie McMurray, in case you’re new to the game, is a NASCAR Sprint Cup driver who is spending sponsors money tooling around tracks across America.

Really, that’s not the knock. It’s McMurray’s reputation away from the track with sponsors and fans that is the kick in the man melon. I’ve seen it first hand and it took a bar of Lava to wash it off.

It got so bad, I hear his act has even worn himself out. Fat chance. I know his sponsors pay an extra quarter at the carnival to have the kick in the ass machine kick them in the ass even harder.

McMurray made it a habit of pissing people off so much with his holier than freakin’ thou ‘tude, that former band wagon’ers had to stand in line to get off the bus. His eau de McMurray was so bad, it was oozing out of his cocktail fire suit.

Yep, arrogance and attitude were Jamie’s down fall.

It’s exactly what is going to happen to this great sport of ours unless the anti-McMurray balm is issued.

Every motorsports team from Hendrick to Force to Yamaha needs to be on their best behavior.

Some advice for our brethren? Don’t go all the way. Stop just short of getting down on both knees to secure sponsor dollars for the next two years.

From this point forward, owners, drivers, riders and PR’ers need to make sure the beer’s cold, the doors are wide open and the rock star insensitivities are hung in the closet.

Dude, this world just got a whole lot smaller. So small, econom just lost a y.

The anti-McMurray balm quite frankly could have removable labels and scents. There are piles of arrogance in this sport just as there are in the NFL and the NBA.

But a repellant without McMurray on the label is like reaching for big-ass beer in an ice cold cooler on a steamed-up South Texas afternoon and picking out…a Zima.

I know, it’s just wrong.

That’s what I Freakin’ think. I do. You? Shoot me an
email @ kennys@speedfreaks.tv, fire off a Freakin’ text to 25827
(CLUBS), send the word FREAK and your message. You can also dial up
the Sarge on the Freak phone at 86-69-FREAKS.